Earlier this evening, my best friend was in a standup comedy competition. We did improv together for all four years of high school so I feel comfortable making the assertion that she's one of the funniest girls in Maryland, if not the country. Granted, I may be a little biased but she really is hysterical.
Watching her video tonight made me miss her more than I already do. It also made me realize how different we've both become. We've only been apart for a few months and we still talk every day but we have these totally new lives that neither one is a part of.
Nicole is growing up so much. I see it in her standup videos. I hear it when we talk on the phone. I notice it in her texts. She was always wonderful but now it's something more, something different.
I'm so proud of Nicole and I love watching her grow up but we used to grow together; now, I feel like I'm missing out.
It's especially apparent with Nicole but it feels that way with a lot of my other friends too. They seem to have new identities. They're all finding themselves and pursuing their interests and I sit here in my room wondering how I should address my roommate's clever avoidance of cleaning.
Of course I have interests and I'm learning a lot about myself being so far from home but I'm not enjoying the same success as everyone else. I need a goal again. I need to drive again. I wanna feel my heart coming alive again.
So here it is internet, y'all are officially holding me to this: I am going to pursue those things that I put on the back burner for whatever reason. Starting with open mic night. I solemnly promise to you internet that I will sign up for open mic night and do something whether it be reading a poem, or doing standup, or singing, despite my intense fear of singing for a crowd. I just don't want the parade to pass me by.
Sincerely,
Mare
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